CEO Tim Cook Smacks Amazon’s Jeff Bezos With His Big Swinging Dick

(Source)  In an interview with Recode’s Kara Swisher and MSNBC’s Chris Hayes, Apple CEO Tim Cook made thinly veiled remarks about Amazon’s city search for a new headquarters and how it compares with Apple’s plan to build a new campus somewhere in the US. Although he wouldn’t specify where Apple’s new campus is going to be (beyond that it won’t be in California or Texas), he did take the opportunity to cast some aspersions on Amazon’s high-profile competition.

Cook said Apple will be running no such competition. “We’re not doing a beauty contest kind of thing,” Cook said. “That’s not Apple.”

He continued: “From our point of view, we did not want to create this contest because I think what comes out of that is you wind up putting people through a ton of work … [only for a company to select one winner] … So that is a case where you have a winner and a lot of losers, unfortunately. I don’t like that.”

Cook said he didn’t “condemn” those states that throw their hats into a competition for a headquarters. For Apple, Cook said he looks for “win / win” situations, rather than creating a bunch of losers.


For those of you not informed, Amazon is looking for a city to build their new HQ in and to everyone’s surprise; Bridgeport wasn’t named as a finalist.  As a proud resident of CT, obviously I was embarrassed our brightest city was overlooked without a second thought and because of such, Jeff Bezos has been on the ATE shit list ever since.  Let the bozo go to senior prom with one of the more popular cities, she’s going to be ugly within ten years anyways.  Anyone still defending Jeff Bezos at this point is a slug.  We’re talking about a guy whose mediocre company invented Alexa, a woman that has a response for everything.  Hey Jeff, the world already has three billion of those.

Big ups to Apple CEO Tim Cook for throwing shade at Amazon.  Calling their search for a city a “beauty contest” might not be on the level as Tupac’s “Hit ‘Em Up”, but it’s as ruthless a comment you’re ever going to get out of a millionaire 400 times over.  That comment is the equivalent of dropping the mic and tweeting out ten consecutive skull emojis.  Damn it must feel good to be a corporate gangsta.  Like the boss he is, Tim Cook not so subtly equated Jeff Bezos’ contest to ABC’s The Bachelor.  Wanting 25 cities to vie for your attention to stroke the ego is cute, but over here at Apple, we get our dicks stroked without the need of clickbait headlines.  Jeff and some of the other giants like Zuckerberg may have higher net worth’s, but Tim Cook has the big swinging dick and ain’t shy about slapping his competitors with it.  Diversified portfolios are for suckers; dump all your money into Apple stock.

This shellacking by Tim “Big Dick CEO” Cook is proof life’s more fun when competitors hate one another.  I didn’t give a rat’s ass about Amazon vs. Apple, but having one of their leaders talk shit now has me invested.  Late night shows are a snooze fest because the hosts do nothing but praise their counterparts.  Leno/Letterman hating each other is what made late night fun and compelling.  Conan smacking down Fallon for running his show like a daycare center or Seth Meyer busting Kimmel’s balls for crying would get eyeballs on the screen.  Ditto for athletes and musicians.  What a world we’re living in when entertainers have to look to the suits in Silicon Valley for some good old fashioned animosity.




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