Porn Comments! Porn Comments! Porn Comments!

Welcome Friday!  Without another holiday off until the end of May, we needed this in a big way.  IMO this is the best football weekend of the year and I’m taking the Rams -7 vs. Cowboys and the Chargers +4 at New England.   January is for dark liquor and cheap brewskis, so get to it you slugs and read another batch of porn comments:

duckwooddave embodies how every guy taking selfies in black wife beaters think.  ‘Cockadoodledoo…I came for you!!!!! ♥’ reminds me of the messages I used to write on those little Valentine’s Day cards you handed out to classmates in elementary school.

 

I think what you mean to say BrownGuy87 is he pulled a Louis C.K.

 

amateurmama ain’t interested in the honeymoon phase of a porn relationship.  He (she?) ain’t about waiting six months to fart in front of his main squeeze.  He wants you to rip a nasty one before the waiter serves the main entrees on your first date.  Oh and the first time you sleep over, you best believe amateurmama is leaving the bathroom door open when he takes a shit.  A more aggressive commenter may have said ‘I want to punch your fart box with my tongue’.

 

delta127 may have single-handily solved the Oscars viewership dilemma.  Add a ‘fake creampie award‘ and the ratings will be higher than the porn star in this video.  In case you didn’t know, the AVN Awards hosted by Romi Rain & Bailey Rayne (no relation) are being held on January 26th in Las Vegas.

 

I feel you bbwbitch1.  WTF was that stud thinking???  Watching him sucking so aggressively on those nips reminds me of when I’m sucking on the straw of a McDonald’s milkshake.  Relax buddy!  She ain’t lactating.

 

This one hit too close to home for me.  Thanks for bringing up my typical Friday night in college byMrD.  Let’s keep it moving you asshole.

 

tehmidget is teabagging the Pornhub comment section with a dose of reality and we’re all nodding our heads in agreement.  None of us have THAT much penis and our ladies are more likely to be mistaken for a handsy TSA employee than an AVN Awards nominee.  Ball don’t lie.  But hey, congrats on doing the sex tehmidget!

 

When you’re being triple teamed by three BBC and every third comment mentions the size of your forehead, it may be time to cover that monstrosity up with some bangs.  Seriously, I thought I was watching Coneheads at first.  You’re asking to be struck by ISIS with a target that big.  Forget about the wall, put her big ass forehead along the southern border and no illegal immigrants will get over it.  With a forehead that massive, this babe can’t drive a car without the sunroof open.  I bet you drips of swear evaporate before they reach her eyebrows.

If you come across any funny porn comments, help a guy out and email them to aftertimeexpires@gmail.com

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