Porn Comments! Porn Comments! Porn Comments!

Hey slugs, it’s Friday!  We turn the clocks forward an hour this weekend and we’re approaching the light at the end of the tunnel.  Conference tourneys are underway (RIP Big East) and Selection Sunday is next weekend, so it’s nearly on playa!  New Haven’s St. Patrick’s Day Parade is this Sunday!  Oh my, get ready to witness the underage degens annual pilgrimage to Elm City.  Before you see some senior in high school puke on his American Eagle hoodie, be responsible and look at another batch of porn comments:

The only thing that could make this more 2019 is if it were a Snapchat vid and the babe had some dog nose/ear filters on.  Bill Belichick would be proud of this porn star for studying game film.  How can you expect to get better at getting fucked if you don’t look at the tape and see what gap assignments are your responsibility?  This babe GETS IT.

 

zeroTen knows a good deal when he sees one.  He spends his free time clipping coupons and browsing vids on Pornhub.  The only thing that will get zeroTen to put down those scissors is when a labia the size of genetically modified apricots appear on his monitor.  And I don’t have to tell you what he’s using those Kleenex for!

 

I’ve been watching hardcore porn since 1998 (21 yrs & counting!) and I’ve never thought of rubbing my semi-hard dick up against my laptop.  I guess I’m not as extreme as extremelimit88.  Thank you for showing restraint.

 

I stand with staceyyangco!  Either go all-in or don’t go at all.  How am I supposed to get off if I can’t see the guy getting off on your face?  Cowards you all are!  Pitiful.  Deplorable.  Reprehensible.  And the same goes for tit pics.  If you send tit pics to hunks you’ve yet to meet off Hinge, #soyourdamnface

 

You can see the dankest meringue in history on next week’s new episode of Guy Fieri’s Diners, Drive-ins and Dives.

 

Lauchpad72’s comment hits a little too close to home for me.  One moment your watching porn and the next moment you see something you’ve never even thought of before and it triggers you.  And then you’re stuck in the inevitable position of having to ask your lady if she’d mine wearing a neon purple wig during sex.  My advice?  Stick with 5 porn categories and don’t veer from them.

 

lorelei82 stole my yearbook quote!  Oddly enough, I didn’t have a huge cock nor huge hair.

 

Pet making a cameo is a tell-tale sign you’re watching an authentic amateur video.

If you come across any funny porn comments, help a guy out and email them to aftertimeexpires@gmail.com

Follow me on Twitter & IG:  @brianglss & @brianglasscomic

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